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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23800594">A Soft Heart to Protect</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MHJoker4Ever/pseuds/MHJoker4Ever'>MHJoker4Ever</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:41:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23800594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MHJoker4Ever/pseuds/MHJoker4Ever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sayaka Maizono once had a choice: Take action... or don't. </p>
<p>Her conflicted mind could easily take her in either direction.</p>
<p>.. This time, her brittle will to murder snaps completely. </p>
<p>An introspective piece on Sayaka in the first chapter of Trigger Happy Havoc, when she still has the time to debate whether to go through with her plan. AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maizono Sayaka/Naegi Makoto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Soft Heart to Protect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Sayaka laid on her bed stiffly as she stared up at the ceiling with the blankest of stares. There was no clock in the room, and no sounds other than her own unsteady breathing, but she could hear the ticking of the clock all the same… She needed to get out. It wasn’t a matter of “want”… She really didn’t have a choice.</p>
<p>            Kill or be killed.</p>
<p>            That was the law Monokuma had established in this godforsaken school… There weren’t any secret exits… No school staff to come out and surprise them that it was all a horrible prank… Every second wasted was a tightening of the noose. Around the career she had painstakingly built up since childhood. Around her friends, who fought with her through thick and thin. Around even herself, since she was a potential target in this hellhole…</p>
<p>            <em>‘I’m so sorry, Naegi-kun…’</em></p>
<p>With a heavy heart and legs that felt weighted down by lead, she left the bed and moved unsteadily towards the door. And eventually, to the room next door. After rapping her knuckle against the door to his room, Sayaka hugged herself instinctively, feeling a chill overcome her. When he opened the door after she announced that it was her, she pleaded to be let in so they could talk in private. And once inside his room, after he allowed her to sit on his bed comfortingly… words just slipped past her lips seamlessly, weaving together a frightful tale that even gave herself goosebumps as she recited the lines.</p>
<p>            Lies, every single one of them. She was lying straight to his face… and it broke her heart… But she didn’t have a choice. The ugly, hateful bear had seen to that...</p>
<p>            Suddenly there was warmth. Sayaka blinked as she registered that he was hugging her…</p>
<p>            “Naegi…kun…?” The idol whispered hoarsely, slightly bewildered.</p>
<p>            “You were crying…” was the gentle boy’s response. Belatedly the idol realized, as she raised one hand to her tear-stained face in shock. His embrace tightened the slightest amount. “I promised I’d keep you safe… And I will…!”</p>
<p>            Through his pained words, Sayaka’s heart broke even more. Here she was deceiving him, plotting to use him for nothing but her own gain, and he was concerned for her and her safety. Here he was listening to her putrid lies like a saint.</p>
<p>            <em>‘Naegi-kun… you’re so…’ </em>Instinctively she leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder, not at all minding the close proximity. <em>‘… soft…’</em></p>
<p>            … He wasn’t going to make it. This doe-like boy with a heart of gold wasn’t going to survive this Hell by himself. He might even be the next one killed, soon as she gets out. Retribution for helping her to escape. It was going to be all her fault.</p>
<p>            <em>‘I…’</em></p>
<p>But what other choice did she have? Escaping wasn’t a simple desire, it was a ravenous need… She <strong>had </strong>to get out. For her friends, her fans, and even her own mental health, she needed to get out <strong>now</strong>…</p>
<p>            <em>‘I…’</em></p>
<p>Makoto Naegi would just be one more sacrifice on the road of hot coals that was her idol career… Sayaka couldn’t afford to hesitate for even a second. Hesitation might as well equate to death, in the cutthroat industry she was in. She wasn’t lying when she told Naegi she had done some awful things to reach and maintain her place on top. And now… betraying Naegi was going to be one more thing added to that pile.</p>
<p>            <em>‘I…’</em></p>
<p>It wasn’t even to keep her position this time. This was… purely to make certain her friends were alright. That’s why this was such an emergency. She had to secure their safety… their livelihoods… For the fans that depended on them…</p>
<p>            “Maizono-san, I... I know I’ve made a lot of empty promises so far…” Makoto muttered softly, making the idol stiffen as he continued. “We were put in this bizarre situation against our will. Told that we have to kill to make it out alive… Told that our families and loved ones could be at risk… Told that no one’s coming to save us… In the end, it feels like all we can do is rely on our own individual power, that we’re all out of options. But… I think… if that were really true, Monokuma wouldn’t be pressuring us like this! He <strong>wants </strong>us to give in and turn on each other!”</p>
<p>            Sayaka didn’t so much as see him shake his head so much as feel it. But she stayed frozen and unresponsive as he went on.</p>
<p>            “… I… I know it’s a lot to ask, waiting around and just ‘working together’… It’s torture. Anything could be happening out there!” Sayaka could feel the anxiety and trepidation in his tone, and she too easily empathized with it. “… B-But… I… As much as I’m afraid, as much as I dread what might’ve happened to the world out there… I can’t do what Monokuma wants me to do! He’s <strong>not </strong>on our side! I’m not gonna believe for one second he cares about how we feel! I might not know what he’s done to my family, but I have to believe he didn’t kill them! I have to believe there’s hope…”</p>
<p>            Like a puppet with its strings cut, Sayaka sagged into the hug ever so slightly.</p>
<p>            <em>‘I can’t do this…’ </em></p>
<p>The more and more she thought about it, the more her already brittle will to commit murder shattered to pieces. All of it undone by a simple heartfelt hug from an optimistic boy, by kind and gentle reassuring words that she desperately guzzled like a dehydrated woman.</p>
<p>            Sayaka completely surrendered herself to his embrace, burrowing her face in his shoulder and crying her heart out. She hugged him back with every ounce of strength left in her.</p>
<p>            She wasn’t sure, exactly, what changed between now and that time in the classroom… It’s not like Naegi had answers or solutions that he didn’t have before. The situation wasn’t any less messed up. Their classmates weren’t any less suspicious.</p>
<p>            She supposed… she just had more time to think on it. In no small part thanks to the precious boy she was clinging to feverishly.</p>
<p>            Sayaka didn’t know what befell her bandmates. But she <strong>did </strong>know what would befall Naegi if she left him behind. For all she knew, her idol group was long since dead, maybe even since the moment she first opened her eyes in this school.</p>
<p>            “I know I’m probably not the most dependable guy ever… not compared to all you amazing Ultimates…” Naegi’s voice cracked, and Sayaka raised her head just enough to view his own tear-stained face. Guilt stabbed at her heart like a wooden stake, feeling responsible for putting him through all this under a pretense. “… But I wanna believe you are. And that they are. And that… working together, we can beat Monokuma and get out of here! It… It beats feeling like it’s me against the world.”</p>
<p>            Sayaka gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, instinctively.</p>
<p>            Naegi wasn’t dead.</p>
<p>            She could still do so much for Naegi. Protect him. Shield him. Support him.</p>
<p>            <strike>Love him…</strike> No, Sayaka wasn’t so sure she was worthy enough for that… Not anymore... Not after she came so close to...</p>
<p>            … But she couldn’t fight her heart, either. So even that might be inevitable.</p>
<p>            Naegi had a seemingly never-ending amount of optimism within him, and Sayaka could ground him. Just like how he was her anchor, especially in trying times like these. Naegi didn’t have all the answers, and that was okay. She didn’t either. But as long as they had each other, they could get through this.</p>
<p>            <em>‘Until he turns his back on you, once he realizes you thought of betraying him…’ </em>A bitter voice echoed in the back of her head. A voice that Sayaka drowned out absorbing Naegi’s warmth, scent, and comforting words.</p>
<p>            They could get through this. A broken tea cup could be put back together, and filled once again. The first time, she had filled herself with passion and single-minded purpose to make it as an idol. And even now, she still had passion for the idol life…</p>
<p>            “Naegi-kun…” The idol took a deep, shuddering breath. Willing her tears to stop just long enough to get out what she wanted to say. “… I believe you. I’ve been a horrible Ultimate Assistant, but I swear I’m going to make up for it.”</p>
<p>            … But she had started down this path to escape the loneliness in her childhood. And now, here she had an opportunity to truly, once and for all, escape that loneliness. Naegi didn’t have a fickle bone in his body. Even after glimpsing past the “perfect” idol mask she wore on stage, he stuck by her side. Even when he barely knew her yet.</p>
<p>            With Naegi, she didn’t have to worry about him disappearing because of one misstep.</p>
<p>            With Naegi… she could keep going. Even if the worst had befallen her idol group, she could start again – continue in their honor.</p>
<p>            And in terms of Naegi himself, she would help him find his footing. Help him find confidence in himself, maybe even help discover what he could do with his future…</p>
<p>            It was only fair. He had already done all these things and more, for her.</p>
<p>            <em>‘So soft…’ </em>Sayaka gave a closed-eyed, pleased smile, leaning on the shoulder of the confused boy as he rubbed her back soothingly. She held him tight.</p>
<p>            Naegi wouldn’t slip through her fingers. She knew that.</p>
<p>            … But it was still so nice to have a choice. To be able to hold and never let go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll be honest, I hammered out, like, half of this back in October/November, but it wasn't super polished. It was for a Naezono Week that a friend and I threw together on Tumblr (not too many participated, but, I enjoy writing Naezono all the same - a fairly underrated ship, in my opinion). I felt nostalgic seeing this particular muse pop back up in my feed, and so I polished it for Naezono shippers to enjoy here. </p>
<p>I might not be the best writer out there, but I hope to post the occasional Dangronpa muse. Perhaps some more Naezono now and then. Who knows. :3 Hope you all enjoyed this a little!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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